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 * The traditional manner to settle disputes in the Union of Shuravi Socialist Jamahiris is by beating each other's genitals with a leather glove until one gives in.
 * Kusnavyexer.jpeg is conducting largest naval exercises in Reismov's mum's ashes in last 30 years.
 * The President of Kadolha is wanted in six Zemlyan countries. Known as a rapist, he managed to molest a police officer while resisting arrest, where he then proceeded to run from police dogs naked through the neighborhood. He was caught stuck in a cat door trying to bite a raccoon.
 * The Bogdanoff brothers have ascended to become Gods among men in Slavia.
 * Aki Aladdin is preparing to begin the genocide of all wh*teys.
 * Lipnitian President Vladimir Kozlovski is charged with rape for having a silly moustache.
 * Bloodia declares that Lipnitia is the land of niggers and jews

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